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 Hindi ko alam kung kailan ka darating. Hindi ko alam kung makikita pa kita. Pero aasa ako sa paniniwalang may isang itinakda para sa lahat ng tao.

Minsan iniisip ko, buhay ka ba? Nasa kabilang dulo ka ba? Ano bang nasa puso mo? Nararamdaman mo rin ba ang nararamdaman ko?

Kung totoo ka man, pwes aasa pa rin akong balang araw makikilala ka. Di ko alam kung kailan, di ko alam kung saan. Kung tama man ang lugar at panahon, Diyos na lang ang nakakaalam.

Sa ngayon, marami akong tanong sa isip ko tungkol sa 'yo. Nasaktan ka na ba? Nagmahal ka na ba ng sobra sobra? Minsan ba sa buhay mo, umasa ka? Minsin ba inisip mo na rin bang huwag nang magmahal ulit, at magtiwala sa ibang tao? Kung ako ang tatanungin mo, oo. Kaya hindi mo ako masisisi kung sakaling dumating ka, saktan lamang kita. Dahil pagod na ako... pagod na pagod...

Kung darating ka, sana dumating ka na, Ayokong sisihin ka balang araw dahil huli ka na. Ayokong dumating ka na hindi na ako marunong magmahal. Dahil baka huli na ang lahat, at matutunan ko na hindi pala kita kailangan...

Kung darating ka ngayon o bukas, Diyos na lang ang makakaalam. Basta't isipin mo palagi na inaantay kita, at umaasa na magiging maligaya rin ako sa piling mo...

A Letter for Nash

 I would give everything just to see your face again. You were a beautiful dream that visited me during my slumber, making me wish that I don’t have to wake up. The sound of your laugh is a melody to my heart, just the thought that I made you smile is a great accomplishment. To me, you are everything. You’re the greatest thing that happened in my life now. You never know how you healed my broken heart, and my wounded soul. Just by your presence, your smile, your glances, you made me feel everything would be all right, and that it’s ok to love once in a while.

I almost gave up on love. I almost believed that fairy tales don’t exists, and that prince charming is but another antagonist in this love story. But you proved me wrong. You were the knight in shining armor, came to rescue me from all the pains, the fears and the misery I’m going through. You were just in time… just in time for me to let go…

In this world, we fall, we get hurt, we feel pain, we have heartaches. I was not ready to face such things. I don’t even know if I could love someone unconditionally, or if I could be happy just by loving someone from a distance. Then you came and I met you. You showed me how hurt you are, and that life still has to go on without the girl you love.

I love you but I’m not expecting anything in return. Maybe just your smile, your glance, or your soothing voice will do. Tonight, if ever I’m going to see you again, I will have to let you go. After I step out of the building, I will have to keep you as just another guy who came into my life, and changed everything. I will never forget you. It’s funny because I had a daydream that I was saying goodbye, and the moment I turned my back to walk away from you; you ran after me and hugged me telling me not to get out of your life. It’s just a dream. But I hope and pray that someday I could see you again, and maybe it will start there. But as of now, I have to continue living my life and find the happiness I was looking for. I love you and I wish you all the best. May God always look upon you. I love you…

ikaw

 i got this a few years ago at friendster...




Ikaw. Oo, ikaw nga! Napakasuwerte mo sa lahat ng mga taong nagpakatanga at nagpapakatanga sayo! Naisip mo na ba kung ilang dagat na ang pwedeng mabuo mula sa mga luhang tumulo dahil sayo? Masarap ba ang pakiramdam ng iniiyakan kahit buhay ka pa?! Masaya?!


Ilang tanga na ba ang naliwanagan dahil dumating ka sa buhay nila? Ilang henyo na ba ang nabobo sa kaiisip sayo? ilang bochog na ba ang nangayayat sa kakahabol sayo? ilang patpatin na ba ang nakabuhat ng grand piano dahil minahal ka nila?


Nakakatawang isipin at pagtanda siguro natin mahirap paniwalaan, na minsan sa buhay ng batang iyon, ikaw ang naging tampok ng kanyang mga pangarap.


Minsan naman sadyang dumadating sa mga relasyon yung pagkakataon na kailangang bumitaw o mabitawan, makasakit o masaktan. Malas mo na nga lang kung ikaw yung iniwan pero hindi eh. Talagang masuwerte ka kasi ikaw yung nang-iwan. Pero kahit ganoon na nga ang papel mo, lalabas ka pa ring bida at dakila kasi sasabihin ng mokong na ‘to, “Hindi ko siya masisisi. Ako naman talaga ang may kasalanan.” Ayos.


Ilang utak na ba ang binabagabag mo gabi-gabi? Ilang nilalang na ang hindi nakakatulog sa kaiisip sayo? Ilang mga mata na ang parang namagang fishball sa umaga dahil sa magdamag na pag-iyak sa alaala mo?


Alam mo ba na para kang bubblegum sa bumbunan nung taong mahal na mahal ka? Pilit na kinukutkot pero sa huli malagkit pa rin. Para kang mantika sa platong hindi maalis-alis kahit nakalimang banlaw na lalo na kung walang Joy Ultra Calamansi. Para kang monthly period na after three days akala wala na pero may taghabol pa pala.


Isa man yan, o isang barkada, maswerte ka pa rin. Hindi ba nakakataba ng puso ang
malamang may isang nilalang na iinom ng isang shot ng nana at isang kilong taba para lang sayo? Na kahit lasunin mo ng racumin, para pa ring tutang susunod sayo.


Kung ganon pwede ka nang lumundag mula sa Eiffel Tower at makakasigurado kang sa langit pa rin ang bagsak mo dahil may isang nilalang na makikipagbargain kay satanas para sa kaluluwa mo.


Sabihin mo nang hindi ka naman ganon; na iniiwan ka rin at nasasaktan; na hindi mo ginustong magpakapraning sila sayo; na hindi ka ganon kalupit at karahas; na may puso ka ring mamon. Pero wala kang magagawa. Wala akong magagawa. Wala silang magagawa. Naging praning ako sayo eh...
  •  I freakingly forgot my password for this account
  • I was too busy with work
  • I was too busy with Danson
  • I was too busy with my tumblr
  • I have no life since on call
There are a lot of stupid things that happened in my life lately, and since I'm back like how DT is back, let the quarterlife chronicles continue!

For You

 i never knew you. I guess I never will. I saw a picture of you once, it was in black and white, but even though I had it, I could never remember your face. I guess I will never know your face for as long as I live in this world. I still have the teddy bear you gave me when I was a baby. But I have kept it, not wanting to see it. Because seeing your picture, and seeing that teddy bear only hurts.

I want to think that you did love me. I want to think that you wanted to find me. I wasn’t expecting too much from you, because I know it will only hurt a lot. You missed so many things in my life. You weren’t there to teach how to ride a bike. You weren’t there when I had my heart broken. You weren’t there. Period.

Dads are supposed to be a girl’s first love, but sadly, you, as my first love, have hurt and disappointed me in a lot of ways. I was angry at you. I am mad at you. I want to despise you, but I can’t… because I came from you. 50% of myself came from you. I don’t like it when people say I look or act exactly like you, and you know why? Because I never knew how you look and act in the first place.

Happy father’s day. I’m tired of hating you for the rest of my life. I don’t want to keep on hating you. I forgive you for dumping me. I forgive you for abandoning me. I just want to have a peace of mind, and not hate you the way I hated you before.

I hope one day, our paths would cross. When that day comes, I hope you’ll let me hug you even for just a second.

I hate myself for telling this, but… I guess… I love you, tatay…

Dear Papa Lolo

How are you doing up there? I hope you and Mama Lola are doing great up there in heaven. Anyways, it’s father’s day today, and although for the 26 years of my life, all I did is to procastinate and let out all my angst against my biological father, I forgot to thank you, the one who made my childhood somehow complete.

Papa, thank you for being a father to me. thank you for being there for me and my mom, especially for my mom, during the hard times that she’s going through. Thank you for the 3rd birthday party you gave me. Thank you for giving us shelter. Thank you for passing down your brains to me. Thank you for taking care of me when I was still a kid. Thank you for being mom’s crying shoulder when she thinks she couldn’t handle it anymore. I wish I could have gotten to know you better. Maybe the two of us could have been partners in crime. I wish I could have took care of you, just like what I did with Mama Lola. I wish you could have seen my accomplishments over the years. I know you would have been proud of me.

Because of you, never once did I feel that there is something a miss. You took the place of my dad, and gave me all the love I needed. Because of you I never felt that I don’t have a father in the first place.

I love you, papa, and I hope you’ll always watch over us, all right?



Ang paborito mong apo

25 Things I Love About My Mom

1. She supports me always. No one is as supportive as my mom when it comes to the fan girl me. She also listens to my C-pop and J-pop songs, and she also loves S.H.E., watched my favorite Asian drama when I’m not around, and lets me go to concerts and fan meets

2. My mom is the coolest mom on earth

3. She have all the time in the world for me, especially when she[s tired from work

4. She is strict when it comes to my studies. She makes time to check on my assignments, reviews me on my upcoming test, helps me memorize my script for our play. When I get high marks, she will treat me out

5.She gives me all the things I need without any second thoughts.

6. She taught me the value of saving money (though she would always get my savings… hehehehe)

7. She also taught me the values I need to learn in this life.

8. She cooks the best spaghetti ever!

9. When I need something, she’s just a call away.

10. When I feel nervous, or if I feel down, she always says the right words to make me feel all right.

11. She worries about me a lot.

12. She spoils in a way that I don’t get too bratty

13. She helps me make the right decision

14. She always have stories to tell, may it be about her day or her childhood

15. She doesn’t have white hair (because I am a good girl) and she doesn’t look like she’s 60.

16. She never settles for the second best

17. She loves to eat out.

18. She always does favor for me.

19. She always cheers on me.

20. She is proud of me, even though I have disappointed her a lot of times.

21. She raised me singlehandedly, without the help of my dad.

22. Although she is against some my decisions in my life, she still supports me.

23. I can tell her anything – from my secrets to love problems

24. She always gives me advices.

25. She loves me more than anything else in this world.

 

I guess 25 reasons are not enough for me to tell the whole world how much I love my mom. There are more than 25 things she have done in my lifetime that made me be the woman that I am right now. And Thank You will never be enough to let her know how grateful I am for bringing me into this world.

Nanay, I love you so much. Thank you for all the things you have done, and will do for me. I’m sorry if there are times that I do disappoint you, but I am trying my best to e a good anf filial daughter. Thank you for molding into the me that I am right now.

I love you soooooo much!

From Carmoan to Puerto Galera, and finally abruptly and impulsively ending in Potipot Island. After 2 months of planning this outing with the EMEA peeps (which also caused some "tampuhan" and "inisan" moments between me and Len), we are finally heading to the beach!

And as the song goes...



Pagmulat ng mata..
langit ay nakatawa sa... Potipot!
sa potipot!


tayo nang magpunta at tuklasain sa Potipot
and tuwa at ang saya!!

dun sa potipot tayo na tayo na!
mga bata sa potipot. maliksi, masigla!



OK, so it was a made up song....



Hope no one backs out grrrrrr

Show Luo - Ai Feng Tou Mv


Makes me want to have a boyfriend like Show Luo... 

Finally… She got Married!

I remember saying in my previous blog that my best friend of more than 10 years since high school, Pie, is getting married. Actually, it's been a long time coming, but good thing that she and her hubby have finally decided to do so. Their first plan was a civil wedding, Assunta De Rossi type. You know, where the bride wears a gown and everything is so grande.... only it's not a church wedding. It's a civil wedding. And so, I told her, if you want a really grand wedding, why not go for the church wedding instead? She agreed with me. But then, the budget made her plans of having a grand wedding not feasible.


Then, one night, when I was off to dreamland after a long, busy day at work, I received a text message from her saying that she is indeed getting married, and it will be on April 23. My reaction was.... WTF?????? That soon? The next day, she explained to me that they needed to get married right away because they have plans of going abroad, and that their marriage license is about to expire.


Anyway, she was busy preparing for the wedding. A week before the big day, I was supposed to buy her the dress she will wear, but she could not find the dress she really likes. So I ended up buying her the turbo broiler she have always wanted. As for me, I bought a dress. Yes, I wore a dress on my best friend's wedding. Enough about that.
So yesterday, with the ceremony presiding by Judge Perpetua Pano, Sherrie finally became Mrs. Mark Julius Chenilla.

The Lovely Couple

I was expecting the ceremony to be short, but the judge had a something to say to the two before she could declare them as husband and wife. Her speech about love, and how a wife and a husband should be in their relationship is truly inspiring. During the ceremony, I reminisced on the times that their relationship is still young. I remember that time that Pie was telling me about this guy she met at LYC in Letran, and how I was telling her that if she does like him, she should go for it. But going for it basically means that she will spending way too much time for him, and me, as he loyal best friend, being on the sidelines once again. I admit, I did hate Mark for taking away my best friend from me. You see, it has always been me and Pie. Actually, to tell you honestly, I hated all of her boyfriends because they tend to take her away from me. Not only that, they make my best friend cry, so being the good best friend that I am, I tend to protect her so much.
After a few months of being together, (and a few months after being legal) she got pregnant with my inaanak, Shannen.

GEDC0178my cute inaanak

 

Theirs was not a perfect relationship. Just like any ordinary couples, they had their ups and downs. There were some misunderstandings. There were doubts and confusions. There were challenges along the way. I’m glad that Mark stuck with Pie, especially during the time when everyone else is against them. I’m glad that he was there for her, especially during those two months that she was sick and got paralyzed. Mark may not be a perfect man, but I can say that he is a good husband and father.

This is a new start for them as a family, and as a husband and wife officially. I’m glad I was there all these time to witness how the love between the two of them bloomed.

Anyway, Mark and Pie, Congratulations to the two of you, and Best Wishes

 

P.S.

Shannen told me she wants a baby sister…

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